


Shawn Mendes

by Live2Sail



Series: Song Fics [1]
Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: Angst, Depression, Episode: s02e25 Resolutions, F/M, Fluff, Friendship, Friendship/Love, New Earth, One Shot Collection, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-26
Updated: 2018-06-08
Packaged: 2019-05-13 20:36:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 1,943
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14755880
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Live2Sail/pseuds/Live2Sail
Summary: I've had Shawn Mendes' new self titled album on repeat and every single song reminds me of Chakotay/Kathryn in some way. I'll be uploading a new one-shot here everyday until I've done the whole album. Each one-shot is a standalone and tags will be added with each one.





	1. In My Blood

**Author's Note:**

> Kathryn struggles and just needs a little help.  
> "In My Blood" Have a listen while you read!  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=36tggrpRoTI

Kathryn stared out the viewport in her quarters. It’d been a hellish month followed by an especially hellish week. They’d done nothing, met no new life forms, explored no new phenomenon for an entire month. She could feel the pressure building up, the threat of depression. Nothing had helped. Not velocity with Seven, not holodeck adventures with Tom and Harry, not even experiments with B’Elanna. She was drowning in her own thoughts, her own doubts, her own fears.

“Kathryn.” Chakotay said softly and Kathryn jumped. She hadn’t heard the door chime or his approach. 

Kathryn turned back to the viewport. “I feel like the walls are caving in around me, Chakotay.”

He walked up behind his captain and pulled her into a hug. “Don’t give up yet.”

“I’m a Janeway, giving up isn’t in our blood. I just need a little help.” She whispered and clutched onto his arm where it was wrapped around her front.

“I can do that, whatever you need.” Chakotay whispered back and they stared out the viewport together.


	2. Nervous

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She made him nervous and a little excited.  
> "Nervous" have a listen while you read!  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rvu_JdxW0dY

Chakotay stared across the mess hall at her, Captain Kathryn Janeway. She was incredible. He’d asked around about her. Intelligent, resourceful, beautiful, she was exactly his type and she made him nervous.

B’Elanna told him that she’d been asking the Maquis about him and he could swear that he had seen his file on a pad on her desk yesterday. All of their interactions had been professional up to this point. Now she was here, in the mess hall, at the same time he was. He took a deep breath and walked across the room to her table. 

“May I join you?” He asked. She gestured to the chair across from her and smiled behind her mug. She made him nervous and a little excited. Who knew where their relationship might take them. They were 70,000 light years from the Alpha Quadrant after all.


	3. Lost in [San Francisco]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He couldn't get her off his mind.  
> "Lost in Japan" have a listen while you read!  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ycy30LIbq4w

Chakotay sat on his couch, got up and paced, sat back down on his couch, got up and paced, sat down on his couch. This was ridiculous. He couldn’t get her off his mind. He got up again and hit his combadge.

“Chakotay to Janeway.” He said before he could change his mind.

“Janeway here. What’s wrong, Chakotay?” Kathryn sounded concerned. They hadn’t spoken since they’d returned to the Alpha Quadrant a month ago. 

“Nothing’s wrong. Do you have plans tonight?” He asked and held his breath. There was a long silence. “I was about to leave and get lost in San Francisco. I was wondering if you wanted to join me?”

“Do you know where O’Kelley’s is?” Kathryn finally responded.

“Of course.” Chakotay answered.

“Meet me there in an hour and we can see about getting lost.” Chakotay grinned and let out a relieved breath.

“I’ll see you in an hour.”


	4. Where Were You in the Morning?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> His lover was gone, replaced by his captain.  
> "Where Were You in the Morning" Have a listen while you read!  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iFJ5d6nk4tM

Chakotay stretched and reached for another body. The sheets were cold and there was no sign of Kathryn. They hadn’t talked about it last night but he had assumed they’d at least have breakfast together before Voyager arrived. Instead, she had just left his bed without any warning.

Getting dressed in the same pants and shirt he’d worn yesterday, Chakotay went to go look for his lover, his best friend, his captain. He found her dressed in full Starfleet uniform with her bun of steel firmly in place.

She  replied to his good morning with a short, professional good morning back. His lover was gone and replaced by his captain, who knew where his best friend had gone in the transition. Where was the Kathryn he'd gotten to know these past few weeks? How could she pretend like this had never happened? How could she just walk away from everything that they had become on this planet? 


	5. Like To Be You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is set a few days after the previous one shot "Where Were You In The Morning?"
> 
> "Like To Be You" have a listen while you read!  
> https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=gX9bEYC69QQ

“I’m sorry.” Chakotay said from the doorway in Kathryn’s ready room.

  
“For what?” Kathryn asked, not looking up from her pad.

  
“I shouldn’t have let us go that far.” He braved the conversation that they had both been avoiding for days now.

  
“We were both involved, Chakotay.” Kathryn said, still refusing to look up from her pad.

  
“I don’t understand why you don’t think we can have a romantic relationship,” Kathryn opened her mouth to interrupt but Chakotay raised his hand to stop her, “but I respect that that’s your decision and I won’t bring it up again. I don’t want to lose your friendship, Kathryn, and I don’t want us to fight anyone.”

  
Kathryn reached her hand out to him and he walked over to take it.

“Thank you.” He squeezed her hand and released it quickly. Just because he respected her decision and had apologized, didn’t mean that touching her was any easier.


	6. Fallin' All In You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He's different and it's all because of her.  
> "Fallin' All In You" have a listen while you read!  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D5P1R6CRsoM

“You’re different.” B’Elanna said from Chakotay’s side. Neelix had planned a social on the holodeck that the Captain had ordered everyone to attend.

“Different?” Chakotay huffed out a chuckle.

“Yeah, you seem different. Not bad, just different, more at ease. Which is weird because we’re trapped 70,000 light years from home and fighting for our survival everyday.” The two ex-maquis shared a smile. 

He was different. He felt more at peace here on Voyager than he had at any other time in his life and it was all because of her, Captain Kathryn Janeway. What had started as a professional relationship born of necessity was quickly turning into the deepest friendship, and possibly relationship, of his life. He wouldn’t trade this difficult Delta Quadrant life for all the gold pressed latinum in the galaxy.

He was different and she had brought it out of him. 


	7. Particular Taste

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kathryn is particular.  
> "Particular Taste" have a listen while you read!  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LRt-H3uATzw

Kathryn was particular. She had coffee within 30 minutes of waking up every morning, her office needed to be clean before she left every day, and reports needed to be received by the end of the week.

Kathryn was particular. She liked a man who was intelligent, a man who was passionate, and more than anything she liked a man who would chase her.

Kathryn was particular. Chakotay had been her friend for ten years and her lover for three of them. He had her coffee ready for her in the morning, a spat brewing by dinner, and make up sex at night. 

Kathryn was particular but Chakotay wouldn’t have it any other way.


	8. Why

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Why did they keep putting each other through hell?  
> "Why" have a listen while you read!  
> https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Z1rkc_0_iMA

Chakotay tossed back his drink and slammed the glass on the coffee table. They were fighting again, they were always fighting these days. Why did they keep doing this? Why did they keep putting each other through hell?

  
It was so obvious to everyone around them that they belonged together. Why couldn’t she see that not being together was more detrimental to the crew than anything else? Why did she keep brushing their relationship off like it was nothing everytime someone brought it up?

  
He missed her, missed their friendship and their easy camaraderie. They both wanted this, wanted each other, but neither of them would break first. Why couldn’t they just get over themselves? Why couldn’t they stop putting each other through hell?


	9. Because I Had You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was time to meet someone new.  
> "Because I Had You" have a listen while you read!  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oqpMmiL8AbQ

It was time for him to move on. He’d been waiting for her for seven years and the only thing it had gotten him was a broken heart. With how often they were fighting these days it seemed like what they had was gone forever. 

Seven was expressing an interest in him. She wasn’t Kathryn and he could never love her like he had Kathryn, but he could be content with her. Maybe Seven could even help him forget the all encompassing love he’d had, still had, for Kathryn. 

He didn’t have anything left to lose at this point and options in the Delta Quadrant were limited. It was time to find someone new.


	10. Queen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She may be the captain, but who made her the queen?  
> I'm still not entirely happy with this one. It's the only song on the album that didn't immediately remind me of J/C so this is what I came up with. Set when Chakotay is beamed aboard Voyager the first time.  
> "Queen" have a listen while you read!  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hXjwr3Hfn60

She didn’t even recognize him! Chakotay scoffed. This was unbelievable. Granted, they had met at the Academy and that was a good few years ago, but he hadn’t changed that much! She certainly hadn’t. 

They’d had several mutual friends even though he was a few years older than her. They’d even met! SEVERAL TIMES! And every time she had said, “nice to meet you,” just like today. 

She may be the captain but who made her the queen?


	11. Youth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They would not fail, she wouldn't let them.  
> "Youth" have a listen while you read!  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bs-Hr-gEJAU

Kathryn stood on the bridge of her ship. Her hair had fallen out of the bun she’d thrown it in this morning, sparks flew from the consoles around her, crew members lay dead around her. Voyager was falling apart. 

She clenched her jaw and glared down at the pad listing all of the repairs Voyager needed. As long as she woke up in the morning, this ship and this crew would not fail. They would survive and she would get them home. 

It would be so easy to hate the Caretaker, hate the Ocompans, hate the Kazon, hate herself. Instead, she channeled that energy to keep her crew alive. She wouldn’t break and she wouldn’t allow her crew to break either. No matter what happened, the Delta Quadrant would not defeat them.


	12. Mutual

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Half of you isn't enough for me anymore.   
> "Mutual" have a listen while you read!  
> https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=gYC1z2fkqAs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These last three are my absolute FAVORITES. They're my favorite songs on the album and they were my favorite one shots to write. I hope you enjoy them.

“What do you want from me!” Kathryn shouted at him.

  
“I want you to stop being so inconsistent!” Chakotay shouted back.

  
“Inconsistent? You think I’m inconsistent?!” Kathryn leveled her best glare at him.

  
“I never know what you want, Kathryn. One day you’re inviting me on moonlit sails and the next you’ve got a holographic boyfriend! Do I even mean anything to you?” Chakotay asked, lowering his voice at the end.

  
“Of course you do.” Kathryn said hurt clear on her face.

  
“Well you have a funny way of showing it. Make a decision, Kathryn. Half of you isn’t enough for me anymore.” Chakotay walked out of the room and left Kathryn staring after him. 


	13. Perfectly Wrong

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They were perfectly wrong for each other, and it made it so hard to leave him.  
> "Perfectly Wrong" have a listen while you read!  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fp47PrA4D_U

Kathryn stared after him. Why couldn’t he see how wrong they were for each other? All this fighting proved it, everyone could see it. They may complement each other personally but their professional arguments would drive them apart, were already driving them apart. 

Perfectly wrong was the best way to describe them. He was exactly what she looked for in a man and he happened to be her first officer. Their personal lives would compromise their ability to be professional, it already was. 

It seemed that when one part of their relationship was out of balance it threw everything out of balance. They couldn’t separate the different facets of their relationship and it was affecting the well being of the ship.

He just made it so hard to leave and her indecision had driven him away. They were perfectly wrong for each other and it made it so hard to leave him. She would have to though, at least until they made it back to the Alpha Quadrant.


	14. When You're Ready

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tell me when you're ready and I'll be waiting.  
> "When You're Ready" have a listen while you read!  
> https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=nwCqA7hBTuE

“May I have this dance?” Chakotay asked and Kathryn hesitantly accepted. They had been back in the Alpha Quadrant for months now. Starfleet had announced this celebratory ball after their debriefings had concluded.

  
Chakotay moved them to the center of the dance floor and led her in a gentle sway. Kathryn blocked out all the prying eyes and sank into the arms of her former first officer.

  
“Tell me when you’re ready, Kathryn. It doesn’t need to be now, it doesn’t even need to be ten years from now but when you’re ready, I’d like to take you to dinner.” Chakotay whispered against her hair as they swayed.  
“Just dinner?” Kathryn asked with a smile.

  
“I thought getting married on our first date might be a little much.” Kathryn threw her head back and laughed. Chakotay stared down at her and brushed a lock of hair behind her ear with his own smile. She looked back at him and her happy grin softened to a small smile.

  
“Ready.” Kathryn whispered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This concludes my Shawn Mendes one shot collection. This song actually inspired the whole thing and I'm very glad I get to end on it. Thank you so much to everyone who has read, left kudos, and wrote comments!


End file.
